- Walk your human in heavy snowfall so they have to bundle up.
- Let them get comfortable with gloves/mittens/sleeves adjusted to cover bare skin and keep out the cold.
- Stop for a poop.
- Smile at them and tug at the leash causing them to fumble with their mittens/gloves/poop bag, etc.
- Walk again for awhile and let them get you far from home.
- When the weather seems at its worst, preferably super windy and snowy, pick a spot full of twigs that is far from a trash can and poop again.
- Enjoy this moment as your human struggles with gloves/mittens/poop bag once more. If you timed things just right, the snow will be swirling around and blowing into their eyes, blurring their vision and making the clean up process even more challenging.
- When they resume walking, walk way behind them very slowly. They will be in a hurry to find a trash can because the twigs you pooped on have poked a hole in the bag. Be proud, your poop smells pretty rank. So much so that even the cold weather and strong winds can’t quell the scent.
- If you really want to mess with them, act exhausted and stop after every 3 or 4 steps to lie down.
- Repeat #9 all the way back home.
To train your human to do this with you on a daily basis, make sure you put on your sweetest face when you get home.
And then stay out of their way for awhile by taking a nice, long nap.
Based on a true story. No humans were harmed.